Maybe Next Time
by Mythical Moonrabbit
Summary: Who ever said that it is NOT every kid's dream to be in Team Rocket? With TR's membership waning, two very "lucky" trainers are recruited into the organization, with some unforeseen consequences.
1. Todd is Jealous, Bonnie is Arrogant, and

**Disclaimer:** Hmm. I think Nintendo and Mr. Satoshi have all the copyrights to Pokemon. All I have is…er…a few versions and the Pokemon. And I don't even own Ruby Version myself. So pretty much, nothing here's mine but the plot and the characters you don't recognize. Please don't sue, since all anyone's getting out of this, if they're lucky, is a few laughs.

**A/N:** No, the title isn't a joke. I'm not saying I'll think of one next time. I mean the title _is_ the title. Did I confuse you enough?

This is essentially one of these new-trainer(s) stories everyone hates so much because they're boring to read. Well, I won't say that I'm going to be the wonderful exception and make this worth a read, because I can't. All I can say is that _I_ believe that my plot is original, my characters _can_ be good, and I plan to flesh my idea into a good story.

This is also a parody of the bad-chicks-turn-good cliché that's done too much. Basically, either: someone goes into TR/TM/TA and cannot _believe_ these bad things and comes out and becomes good again or: someone's a wonderful/not-so-great executive but want out. These two models are the only ones I've seen, as this isn't my first fandom. In any case, I'll be poking fun at those wonderful trainers who think that doing bad things is _horrible_. As for how, you may read and find out.

Are you still here? Okay. Thanks.

**Maybe…Next Time**

****

_By: Moonrabbit(2)_

**Chapter One **

**Todd is Jealous, Bonnie is Proud, and Team Rocket is…Lucky?**

_Mother is way too nice, _Bonnie thought with a scowl as she peeked into the parlor, where her mother and her newest weary-traveler were sitting, enjoying Bonnie's favorite tea biscuits and milk. Mrs. Blossom—at least, that was what everyone in Verdanturf Town called her, though her daughter was sure their family name was less embarrassing than _that_—was known only too well for her hospitality. If she saw any wandering trainers while shopping or running errands, she would inevitably bring them home, treat them to a snack, and drive them to the Pokemon Center after they were treated as royals.

Of course, everyone, from her youngest daughter to her eldest neighbor, knew that being too kind would not do anyone any good, especially not in such a small town, and especially, especially not when you had a large berry garden that could be easily vandalized.

Even if your guest happened to be a ten-year-old kid who looked terrified for no reason.

If Bonnie didn't know any better, she would've sworn that this kid—named Bod or Mod or something Odd—worked for Team Aqua. When they still lived in Old Dale Town, a starting trainer had broken into their garden and stolen Bonnie's favorite leppa berries. _Yup,_ Bonnie thought, narrowing her eyes at the boy sitting on the couch, eating _her_ cookies, _he certainly looks to be the type._

For once, Bonnie turned out to be right.

Meanwhile, Todd was fidgeting, quite unlike a typical thief-to-be would.

"So you just started on your journey?" said Mrs. Blossom, taking a sip of milk. "I suppose you are ten years old too."

Todd shifted nervously in his seat; he had never felt so uncomfortable that _both_ his palms were beginning to sweat. It wouldn't be easy the first time, Cassidy had informed him. She was only too right; he'd never felt so rotten to even _think_ of robbing a house this clean and a garden that beautiful. Todd was always a chicken, which was why his friends liked to make fun of him.

It didn't make the job any easier that a pair of eyes were fixed on him, somewhere outside the parlor door. _Concentrate and play the innocent traveler, you dork,_ he thought, as he wiped his hands quickly on his corduroy pants, carefully avoiding Mrs. Blossom's eyes.

"I just turned ten a few days ago," he said. That was actually true. He figured he'd be telling his grandchildren one day how he'd left the house as soon as the clock struck twelve, signaling that he'd finally grown a year older. "Only a few days ago. Three or four."

Butch said you should always add details to make your story seem genuine. Todd was glad that in his case, his story _was_ genuine.

"Have a cookie," his hostess said. "Don't be shy. So," she said, changing the topic, "you've been traveling a lot by yourself, have you? Where did you come from?"

"The suburbs of Mauville," Todd answered. "I lived on a farm."

"Oh, of course, Mauville City," said Mrs. Blossom, nodding. "I've been there a few times. A nice city, and the suburbs are beautiful. I might've even seen your farm and chatted with your parents." She laughed merrily. "I guess you got your starter Pokemon from the Mauville Pokemon Center."

"Nurse Joy didn't have them in time for my birthday," said Todd regretfully. "I would've liked a Treecko or a Torchic."

"That must've been a letdown," Mrs. Blossom said sympathetically. "But you do have a Pokemon."

Todd blushed. Now this was getting embarrassing. A Team Rocket Grunt should not have a cute Pokemon. Nor should a boy trainer who was to become a Pokemon master. But there he had, a Skitty that was the house pet for a few years. And she was a she, and she was _pink_! Todd could die of embarrassment.

"Well, I do have a few," he admitted vaguely.

Mrs. Blossom smiled. "Hold on just a second, I want my daughter to meet them," she said. "Bonnie, you can stop eavesdropping now. You're making our young guest very nervous." She turned back to Todd. "That's my youngest daughter, Bonnie. Bella's sister."

It was now humiliating. He did not want to show his Skitty to a girl. Especially not Mrs. Blossom's daughter, who would be wearing a frilly pink dress, wearing a frilly pink bonnet, and have huge golden ringlets, who would coo over his Skitty, and then realize that Todd wasn't a girl, and then shriek and be all…annoying.

Although Todd had to admit that he liked Bella a whole lot.__

However, Bonnie was the opposite of Bella. Yes, she was wearing that frilly dress and pink bonnet (hanging down her back, anyway), and yes, she had blonde hair, but Todd doubted that anyone could tell under the mass of dirt on her hair, face, dress, and bare legs and feet. She wasn't even pretty, like her older sister. She would've looked more like a boy if it weren't for that dress and hair.

"Bonnie, meet Todd," Mrs. Blossom said, smiling. "He's only a little older than you, and he's already a trainer."

Bonnie looked him up and down, looking suspicious. Todd wondered if she'd guessed that he wasn't what he'd pretended to be. _But girls are supposed to be dumb,_ he reminded himself.

Meanwhile, Bonnie was scrutinizing him, her head cocked. Finally, she said, "Boy, you look even more skinny up close."

Todd blinked, and looked at her mother quickly. Mrs. Blossom merely shook her head. "You'll have to excuse her," she said. "I'm sure she's had good breeding sometime in the past, but she doesn't show it…that much." She laughed; after all, Bonnie was not voted the Friendliest Person of the Year, and never would be. "Bonnie, please behave. Todd will show you his Pokemon."

"MOTHER!" someone suddenly shouted from upstairs.

Mrs. Blossom shook her head. "Oh dear, I forgot. I have to see Bianca's routine. After you see Todd's Pokemon, show him yours. If you want to go into the garden, be very careful, or that'll be a chunk off your allowance. I love you, dear." She grinned at Todd. "Enjoy yourself, Todd. Don't mind Bonnie too much."

Bonnie snorted, and turned her attention upon Todd's pack. "Where's your Pokemon, then?" she demanded.

Reluctantly, Todd opened his bag. Stripes jumped out, and mewed cutely. "That's my Skitty," he said.

Bonnie looked disappointed. "I was hoping you have a Mudkip or something. Then I could battle it," she said regretfully.

"I'd like a Treecko," Todd said, "but Nurse Joy didn't get the starter Pokemon, and I can't wait."

"But…don't you have anything else? Something…stronger?" Bonnie persisted.

Todd wondered if it would seem suspicious to release that Poochyena Butch had given him. He decided to risk it; he did not want that girl to think he were some sort of a sissy with a Skitty to prove it.

"I also have a Poochyena," he said, and threw the Pokeball. He glared at Bonnie. "Would you say that's weak?"

Bonnie huffed. "But it's not a Mightyena," she said. "I would be a little more impressed if it were. But," she relented, "it is pretty cool. I'd like to battle it someday."

"Like you can beat it," Todd said, hoping Bonnie was going to take this outside. In the garden. Then he could sneak a few berries in his pocket and show Cassidy that he _could_ steal. Wouldn't she and Butch be proud?

Fortunately for Todd and his evil scheme, Bonnie took the bait. "I'll show you my Pokemon _and_ my garden," she said proudly, and she did a very un-ladylike thing that Todd was sure had to be forbidden.

She stuck out her tongue, and rolled her eyes at the same time.****

It turned out that Bonnie had quite a few Pokemon. Though none of them could be considered strong—Todd was sure his Poochyena could take care of them, no problem—they were rather neat. However, Todd didn't get to see them till later.

First Bonnie led Todd past her mother's plot at first, where a few Brelooms and a Bayleef were watering the berries. "Pecha berries," Bonnie informed Todd, "and this is Pecha, my mother's Bayleef." She patted the Pokemon, who nuzzled her for a few seconds before going back to the berries.

_Mission begins._

Todd edged closer to one of the pecha berry trees while Bonnie bent down to talk to a Breloom. Yup, these pink berries looked pretty good. He could just pick two and call it a day. Cassidy never said he had to pick a lot of berries. She just said a few. And two berries could be a few berries, if she were in a good mood. But he had to get it done quickly. Mrs. Blossom had made him feel very guilty. If he were fast, and stealthy, he'd be done before Bonnie the Bragger realizes. However, a Breloom noticed, and he glared at Todd. "Breloom!" he cried, and Bonnie looked up.

"What's wrong?" she said, and glanced at Todd. "What are you doing? You better not be doing anything bad. Mother trained all these Brelooms to know Mach Punch. _And_ they hurt. A lot."

"Like you'd know!" Todd said, but he walked away quickly. That Breloom did not look very friendly.

The same thing happened at all the other plots. Bianca's garden was full of Beedrills and Bellossoms, while Bella had the Beautifly and Butterfree. None of the Pokemon trusted Todd very much. Even though Bonnie became absentminded whenever she saw a berry flower that needed weeding or watering, the Pokemon kept their eyes on Todd whenever he neared a tree. One Beedrill even tried to poison sting him, and Todd would've gotten stung if he didn't run fast enough. Bonnie was no help, laughing at his plight.

Todd was very frustrated as they finally came to Bonnie's garden. He wasn't even thinking of the battle he and Bonnie would have, in which he would finish her off with a snap of his fingers and his Poochyena's teeth. He'd never had problems stealing before. Well, candies and cookies from his baby sister might be different, but not that different.

"You have to see my durin berry!" Bonnie cried, breaking into his thoughts. Her pride for her special berry made her slightly more agreeable. "It's the best thing. I've been growing it ever since Ben gave it to me two years ago, and it finally bloomed today! Pretty soon, I'll have durin berries. Isn't that cool? I heard they're really rare. But Ben's always nice to me. Look!"

Todd looked.

The plant did not look impressive to him. The flowers were still small, and the leaves looked too dark to be pretty.

But Bonnie did say it was rare. And he did dislike Bonnie a good deal. That was killing a bird with two stones, as the Team Rocket Motto said.

The best of all was that Bonnie didn't have as many Pokemon guarding her garden as her sisters and mother. She only had two Beedrills and a Silcoon, all of them more interested in the pecha berry trees. _Like trainer, like Pokemon,_ Todd thought, reaching a hand out. He would just pluck a few flowers. Maybe that would work. It wasn't his fault that durin berries gave fruit with such difficulty.

Suddenly, just when Todd felt the delicate petal in his hand, he heard a "BULBA!" and was instantly knocked backwards, without knowing what was going on.

Bonnie turned around, looking perplexed. Then her puzzlement turned to fury. "What were you trying to do to my durin, you big mean thief?" she demanded.

"Bulbasaur!" Bulbasaur said, from his place next to her.

Well, that was how Todd and Bonnie began their not-so-friendly acquaintance.

**x. x. x.**

Of course, Todd didn't think he'd ever meet Bonnie again after his visit. He did not dare to revisit Mrs. Blossom's house, and besides, why would he want to meet Bonnie again in any shape and form? Not when she laughed at him, and insulted him, and made her Bulbasaur stay in the bushes so he would tackle an unsuspecting thief, such as himself.

Cassidy and Butch did not give him a hard time about the failed assignment. They just looked amused. In fact, they always looked amused around him, even when they recruited him, which annoyed Todd. Sure, he supposed they were doing him a favor by telling him he was the first kid who was in the Hoenn Wing of Team Rocket, the one organization to make you a Pokemon master, but wasn't he doing them a favor by…well…offering to steal berries for them?

"Skitty," Stripes said, as Todd kicked a stone.

"Oh, be quiet and quit whining, I'm not Tammy," Todd complained. He was on his way to Rustboro City, where, Cassidy told him, the Devon Corporation's Building was. "If I screw up this assignment up too, I'm never going to become a Pokemon master. And with you and Poochyena, I haven't caught any new Pokemon!"

"Skitty, skit!" Stripes replied angrily. Probably complaining that Todd never fed her milk, like Tammy did. Well, that was just too bad.

As Todd passed a hiker, happily mumbling to himself, he jumped in excitement. There was a Bulbasaur, right in the middle of the road, holding in its vines a struggling Wingull! "Oh boy," Todd said. "This is my lucky day."

Then he realized _he_ was not the one who said the six words.

"I'm going to catch a water Pokemon!" said a voice that definitely belonged to a girl.

Todd turned, and felt his stomach drop. He knew it. It was Bonnie. "Isn't she too young to be a trainer?" he asked Stripes, who wagged her tail merrily. "She's only nine!" Todd protested, but his Skitty's attention was no longer on him.

He sighed, and watched as Bonnie threw the Pokeball.

The Wingull broke free.

She threw another one.

It broke free again.

Another one.

It broke free, but barely.

Todd knew that Bonnie was going to catch it with the next Pokeball, and catch she did. A waste of Pokeballs, he thought, but then again, she was a girl, and girls were wasteful. "Yeah, Bulbasaur! We caught it!' Bonnie cried, dancing around happily. "Wingull! I've always wanted a water Pokemon to keep us company!"

"Bulbasaur," Bulbasaur said proudly. _Just as proud as his mistress,_ Todd thought.

Oops. Did he say it out loud? Bonnie was now looking at him, eyes narrowed to slits.

He wondered if he should go and wave at Bonnie. Say something like "Hey, I know you, and I didn't like you" or something, but it turned out he didn't have to. Bonnie spoke first. "Oh, look, it's that boy you didn't like, Bulbasaur," Bonnie said, belting her new Wingull. "That boy who's probably from Team Aqua."

"You mean Team Rocket," Todd corrected her automatically.

"Oh, right, as if they did anything after one of their buildings blew up," said Bonnie. "I do read the newspaper once in a while. Even Team Magma sounds cooler"

_Like you'd know,_ Todd thought smugly. _SHE would never be a Pokemon master._

"What are you doing here? Did you beat Miss Roxanne yet?" Bonnie asked.

"Miss Roxanne?" repeated Todd. "Who's that? The gym leader of Rustboro?" So that was who she was. He'd wondered.

"Well duh!" Bonnie said. "I know her because I went to the academy for a few years, that's why I'm so good at Pokemon. She's the best teacher I've ever had. _And_ she's a mighty strong gym leader. I can't wait to battle her, myself. You want to come with me? If you have the guts, I mean."

Todd fidgeted. He couldn't say he was waiting around to see if Cassidy would catch up to him and walk him through the Devon assignment. "Nah, like I want to go with you," he said.

"Oh, okay," Bonnie said, shrugging. "I didn't think you're strong enough anyway, but Mother said I should always be polite with other travelers. Even if they do stink. Bulbasaur, return." She put away her other Pokeball. "Well, guess that's that. Maybe by the time I come back out, you actually got a bit stronger."

"Oh please, I could beat you in a battle any old time," Todd said, but he realized he didn't sound confident at all.

Bonnie rolled her eyes. "Right," she said.

Cassidy chose that time to appear from behind the bushes, her Raticate trailing her. Bonnie's eyes grew large at the red R in the middle of her black sweatshirt. Cassidy ignored her, and turned her attention upon Todd, who tried to look less nervous. "Butch said you wanted my help. Even though I told you specifically I have a very busy schedule."

"Um," said Todd, hoping Bonnie's near deaf.

But Bonnie wasn't.

"Cornn and pecha?" she said. "We have them. Mother plants them. Do you want some? And are you from Team Rocket? Gee, I thought you guys suck too much to be in Hoenn. Didn't some building blew up just a while ago? I mean, sure, sometimes I see two of you Rockets blasting off every time I look out the window, which is pretty funny if you think about it."

Cassidy noticed Bonnie for the first time. "Who is she? Your girlfriend?" she said to Todd. "You should be a little more respectful of your elders."

"But Team Rocket does kind of suck," Bonnie said. "Don't you agree?"

"She is NOT my girlfriend."

"Team Rocket does not suck!" Cassidy said. "You little immature trainers never know any better."

"SHE IS NOT MY GIRLFRIEND! GIRLS HAVE COOTIES!"

Bonnie blinked at him, while Cassidy ran a hand through her hair. Todd wondered if she were annoyed. She certainly looked like it.

"What's the holdup, Cassidy?" Butch demanded, coming out of another bush, his Hitmontop following him. "It's _itchy_ in the bushes, you know!"

Cassidy glared at him venomously, before turning back and giving Bonnie an even more murderous one. "_This brat,_" she spat, "is the problem."

Bonnie bristled. "I'm _not_ a brat," she said shrilly; the Raticate turned to her and growled threateningly. "Or," she amended quickly, and Todd was pleased to see that she was not as tough as she'd seemed, "maybe I am, a little bit…"

"Well, little girl, since you think you're so great, even better than Team Rocket, why don't you battle us?" Butch demanded, after Cassidy filled him in on what Bonnie had just said.

Bonnie eyed Raticate nervously. Todd could tell that she knew the Pokemon was at a higher level than her pet Bulbasaur. "No, I have better things to do," she said, taking a step backwards. "I think I'd better get going. And anyway," she added, regaining her composure a little. "Mother said that I must _never_ speak to strangers."

"Are you too scared to battle?" Todd couldn't help taunting. "I bet you are. You're all talk and nothing else."

"At least I have better Pokemon than you!" Bonnie shouted, stamping her foot. "Stupid cootie boy who tried to steal my berries!"

Todd hesitated. She was actually right about _that_.

Cassidy was starting to look very interested. "Say," she said thoughtfully, seeing Bonnie in a new light. "What are your Pokemon, little girl?"

Bonnie put her hands around her waist. _Well, guess she isn't as stupid as she looks,_ Todd thought, because Cassidy said she liked stealing Pokeballs with Pokemon in them. "I have a Wingull, and a Zigzagoon, and...a Bulbasaur," she said uncertainly.

"A Wingull," mused Cassidy. "With the Keen Eye ability. Must be able to spot something."

"And with her Zigzagoon's Pickup," said Butch, raising his eyebrow at Cassidy meaningfully. "Okay, kid, you're in."

"I'm…in?" Bonnie said. "In _what_? Insane?"

Todd snorted, and the girl glared at him.

"No, sweetie," said Cassidy. "You're in Team Rocket, one of the most prestigious organizations—"

"Team Aqua is," Bonnie interrupted her. The Raticate growled. "I mean, I think it is. Of course, I could be wrong."

"No, no, you have it all wrong," Butch said. "In Kanto, we're all anyone talks about. We were in Johto for a while too. Till that James—I mean, yeah. We're expanding our membership in Hoenn, you lucky girl. Once Team Rocket grows to be the best, and you are old enough to be an executive, you'll be even better than the Elite Four!"

"For real?" Bonnie said excitedly. "Cool. I'm in!"

"Hey, that's not fair," said Todd. "She can't just be in like that. She didn't even get tested."

"Neither did you," said Cassidy. "Besides…you need a partner. Like me, I got Botch for a partner, and I've never stopped regretting it. Your other choice is Maxine, but you said she's too scary."

"She wears _lipstick_," Todd said, wrinkling his nose.

"Wait a minute," said Bonnie. "So _you_ are in Team Rocket too! You were trying to steal my berries! Oh, let me at you!"

"Hey, we're partners now," Todd said quickly; of course, he regretted admitting that as soon as he said it.

Cassidy and Butch exchanged another look. That of exasperation, though the younger duo could not read it. "Let's head back to the base," Cassidy said, returning her Raticate. "We need a lot of work to make you two…er…_wonderful_ Rocket Grunts."

Both Bonnie and Todd missed the sarcasm.

**A/N: **I know almost every author says this, but reviews are the best medicine. I understand there is a certain level of skepticism when a new-trainer fic comes out. Please give me some feedback on this story. It can be good—flattery never hurts—or bad—constructive criticism are helpful. However, I _will_ say that pointless flames, meaning just telling me "YOU SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK" and don't give any reason why doesn't help anyone. I'll block you, AND I'll ignore you.

Till next chapter.

--Moonrabbit


	2. The Tenets of Team Rocket

**Disclaimer:** Pokemon belongs to Nintendo and its creator, Mr. Satoshi, and a few other TV stations, one of which is WB11. Sadly, I own absolutely nothing, except the plot.

**A/N: Many dear thanks to my three reviewers!** Thanks for taking an interest in this story.

And if you are new, I welcome you to join my insane world! ;)

Here's chapter two. In which Bonnie and Todd get "inducted" into Team Rocket. Well, supposed to, anyway.

Read and enjoy!

**Maybe…Next Time**

_By Moonrabbit_

**Two: The Tenets of Team Rocket**

**Number one: Recruit idiots.**

Of course, that wasn't actually on the list, but Cassidy had an urge to scribble it on, as she and Butch watched Bonnie and Todd in the fast food restaurant. Bonnie was gnawing the chicken legs as if she had a grudge against it, while Todd was trying to put as many lettuce and tomatoes into his hamburger as possible.

To add to this, they constantly argued with each other about everything from whiskers to shoes. Without swallowing their food, and attracting a lot of attention from the nearby diners.

This would've never happened in Kanto or Johto, where the Rocket Training School sucked all of the bad manners along with quite a few other annoyances, but Giovanni had had only time to establish a minor base before he told his top executives to move their operations there. Jessie and James excluded, mind you.

"Why are we putting up with this?" she wondered aloud, gnashing her French fries. "My mom did not raise me up to be a babysitter. I'm raised to be the champion."

"So am I," Butch said, drinking his soda contentedly. "But we don't always get what we want. Besides, they remind me of us when we were younger."

Cassidy grimaced. "I sure never insulted every single person who crossed my path," she said. "That girl's mouth is as foul as a Muk, and we've only met her for two hours."

"And that kid is as hypocritical as can be," Butch observed. "Tries to put up a tough guy image but doesn't succeed by far. Says girls are cooties but sucks up to that Bonnie so she won't punch him in the mouth."

"And we have to pay for the food!" Cassidy said through gritted teeth. "There is no justice in the world, I say!"

Butch shrugged. "We could have more when we get back to the base," he said.

Cassidy wasn't listening. She threw down her French fries on the floor and stomped her feet. Anger management problems, she was often told, were nothing to be proud of. But she was on fire. "You two!" she shouted, and the whole restaurant went silent. "HOW LONG ARE YOU GOING TO KEEP ON EATING?"

Todd was adding more lettuce. "I don't know," he said thoughtfully. "Do you have any sesame sauce?"

"FINISH, NOW!" shouted Cassidy.

Bonnie glared at her. She was a lot braver, now that Cassidy returned her Raticate. "Well, if it isn't bad manners!" she said airily. "We're trying to eat here, you know. Mother always said that you should keep quiet when you are enjoying lunch."

_Like you and your friend were._

"I AM PAYING FOR IT OUT OF MY OWN POCKET!" shouted Cassidy. "HURRY UP AND FINISH THE STUPID SANDWICH!"

"It's actually a hamburger," Todd informed her. "Granted, I did finish the meat."

"Out of your pocket?" Bonnie said, giggling. "You don't have any pockets."

"She's a strange lady, isn't she?"

Bonnie nodded in agreement, and grinned at Cassidy. "Goodness, lady, you should stop yelling. Don't spoil our appetite!"

Cassidy screwed her fingers into claws, but Butch quickly grabbed her arm. "LET ME AT THEM!" she shouted.

"Remember, we are supposed to recruit new people," Butch warned her.

"I DO NOT CARE AT ALL!"

Bonnie and Todd exchanged a look. "But we do," Bonnie informed her. "Very much so."

"Yeah," Todd complained. "And you still haven't given me my sesame sauce."

**The Real Number One: Make it to the base without killing recruits. In other words, make sure said recruits have weird Pokemon.**

"Let me see your Pokedex," Cassidy said, having finally survived lunch. "I need to see if you have any Pokemon fit for Team Rocket."

"We already told you our Pokemon," Bonnie muttered.

"Well, we need to see if they are weird enough," Butch said, clapping a hand over Cassidy's mouth so she wouldn't start screaming.

"Weird Pokemon?" Bonnie sad thoughtfully. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Poison types are usually our favorite," Cassidy said, "but dark and fighting types work as well. Sometimes, we take ghost and normal types, if they look scary enough."

"In fact, if your Pokemon's more scary than our female executives, you're all set," Butch muttered.

"I have a Poochyena!" Todd said proudly.

"We know," the other three chorused.

"Oh. Just thought I'd mention that," said Todd. "And I have a Skitty."

He released his Poochyena and his Skitty, and the two of them began to prance around on the path to the Rocket base.

"And I have the three Pokemon I told you about," Bonnie said, letting her Bulbasaur, Wingull, and Zigzagoon out. "Although I won't say no if you give me a Mudkip or a Rayquaza."

"A Rayquaza," repeated Cassidy, looking disgusted.

"Why not a Rayquaza?" Bonnie said. "Oh yes, by the way, you must really stink at Pokemon while you were at the academy."

"Excuse me?" Cassidy stared at her. "What was that?"

"You need a Pokedex to see the Pokemon's data!" Todd said, wrinkling his nose. "That's so…inexperienced!"

Butch clapped his hand over Cassidy's mouth again. "Well, let me see," he said thoughtfully. "Poochyena is definitely good, and Skitty…well…it should work. Reverse psychology, almost. Nobody would think that a Skitty could steal anything."

Bonnie humphed.

"As for you," Butch continued, "the Zigzagoon and the Wingull will make a great team. And it is good that Bulbasaur happens to be part poison."

"Yep, my Bulbasaur is the best," Bonnie boasted. "I've had it since I was…little."

Cassidy pried Butch's hand off her mouth. "You kids are useless," she declared angrily. "When _I_ joined, I had my Houndour and my Rattata!"

"You have a Houndoom!" Bonnie squealed. "That is so neat!"

"Actually, it hasn't evolved," Butch snickered.

**Number Two: If you don't have a real base to speak of, try not to get annoyed at the recruits.**

"It's a cottage?"

Cassidy and Butch sighed in annoyance at the two kids' apparently shock. As if they didn't know how hard it was to pay the rent these days. Certainly they would understand they were too broke to get an almost-decent house!

But of course, kids would be kids. They never did understand.

"It's our temporary base," Cassidy said, crossing her arms and trying to look authoritative. "We have a better base…er…elsewhere. Near…um…Lilycove."

Yeah, they did have a "base". Team Magma abandoned it a few months ago because of the termites problem, but Cassidy and Butch preferred not to talk about that.

"You said it was an organization," said the girl with the blonde pigtails. "But I don't see anyone else around beside him, you, and him." She whirled on the boy, who looked terrified. _Chicken,_ Cassidy thought. "And where's that Maxine girl you're so afraid of? Where's she? Is she the Raticate or something?"

"No, she's a brat we tried to recruit outside Verdanturf," Butch said, before Cassidy could stop him. "We didn't know she had such a strong Torkoal."

"So basically, the whole Team Rocket includes two people," said Bonnie, frowning. "And him. So you two are the two people I see blasting off to outer space every time I look out the win—"

"No, that will be Jessie and James, and their membership should have expired a long time ago if they weren't too stupid to realize it," said Cassidy, deeply insulted. "And our main base is in Johto and Kanto. We have more people than you could've ever imagined, you got that? So shut that filthy mouth of yours, and listen to me. I'm the boss here."

"But you guys had a base when you recruited me!" Todd cried. "I sat in a hotel room and drank coffee."

"There we have it," Butch said. "That was a hotel room."

"The coffee tasted nasty," Todd mumbled.

"Enough. Cottage. Here. Got that?" Cassidy snapped.

Todd and Bonnie looked at each other, and both of them groaned.

"Okay, how about we introduce ourselves? I still don't know your names," Butch said.

"That's because you lack a good brain," Bonnie said.

"Gotta agree with that, " chorused Cassidy and Todd.

"Well, _anyway_, just to sound a tad formal," Cassidy said. "His name is Botch. My name is Cassidy. What's your full name?"

"Bonnie," Bonnie said. "Or Bonita, or Banatito, or Bandit."

"No last name?" Butch said, raising his eyebrow.

"I don't like to talk about it," Bonnie said importantly.

"And we don't like to hear about it either," Cassidy said. "Forget that. Onto Todd. Introduce yourself again, just in case Bonnie's too dumb."

"And I'm Todd Something," Todd said.

"Interesting." Butch tried to remember Todd's real last name. "Never mind. Onto the next part, Cass."

"Now, you two are going to be partners in crimes…"

"But how is she going to be my partner?" Todd demanded. "I've been in training longer than her. She should be my trainee."

"By a month," Cassidy pointed out. "Which was an experimental month, mind you. You were supposed to complete two assignments, but as you've completed neither—"

"We can't do much with two people, however," Butch mused.

"Well, now we've got four," Cassidy barked, whacking him on the head with her handbag. "So drop it, or you'll end up like Jessie and James, I guarantee you that. Now." She turned back to the two kids, with Bonnie interestedly watching them fight—haven't she ever seen adults fight?—and Todd who was both impatient and slightly embarrassed. "First things first. I realize you two _have_ to look like Team Rocket to _be_ Team Rocket—er, I mean, Pokemon masters."

Bonnie looked at Todd, who glared back at her defiantly. "He's too skinny," she said, "and his skin is way too pale. He looks like a chicken."

"She's too dark," Todd said, "and her hair is too tangled up. She looks like…a…a scarlet woman!"

"I am not red. Besides, my hair isn't too tangled. I braided them myself. At least I can actually _braid_ my hair, you bald idiot!"

"I have hair! And they are nicer than yours. Who wants yellow hair?"

"WHO WANTS ORANGE HAIR?"

"That will be enough!" Cassidy barked again. How was she ever going to make this work? But the hair did give her an idea of where to start. "Hmm, Todd, your hair's fine, once I cut it a bit shorter," she said, hoping her skills as a barber was ample. "As for you, Bonnie, your hair…should look—"

"Not like yours," said Bonnie. "Yours look too weird."

Cassidy bristled. "I'll have you know that it's a treasured tradition of Team Rocket TO HAVE WEIRD HAIR!"

"But my hair is still not going to look like _that_," Bonnie said stubbornly.

"Fine, be like that," Cassidy said. "And when our big important Boss with a capital 'B' doesn't think you look quite as beautiful as me—"

"Ugh. Beauty are for sissies," both Bonnie and Todd said together.

Cassidy worked very hard to control her anger. She would've liked to just fire the two of them. Like…like _that_. But she figured she might as well go through with it, since she'd probably lost a few months of her life dealing with those unruly kids already. "You," she said, after she was sure she wouldn't breathe fire, "are going to put on your uniform, _brush_ your hair, and then—"

"Uniforms?" Todd said. "I went to a private school. We had neat uniform. Jackets and trousers and everything."

"In the Academy, we could wear anything we want," Bonnie boasted.

"Luckily, your uniforms will look just like ours," Butch said. "Black shirt. Red 'R'. Boots. Gloves—"

"I want blue ones!" Bonnie piped up.

"I want…black," said Todd.

"We only have white," Cassidy said.

"That will go up to your armpits," Butch muttered, and Cassidy hoped the kids didn't catch that.

They didn't.

"I guess that'll be okay," Bonnie said, "but they'll get dirty easily. I like to play in the dirt."

"I thought mud pies were for toddlers," Butch said thoughtfully.

"Not mud _pies_," Bonnie said. "Mud berries."

"In any case," Cassidy hurried on, "when you've come out, we will go to the…nearest videophone, and call your new Boss."

"Is he a gym leader?" Todd said. "Is he a cool champion?"

"He was a gym leader," Butch said.

"So _he_ blew up the gym," Bonnie said, looking pleased she'd figured everything out.

"But he's not the champion—"

"Even if he were," boasted Todd, "I would beat him, no problem! I mean, after I get through the Rocket training academy."

"We…don't have an academy, not here," Cassidy said. "And we aren't going to ship you to Kanto. So you'll have to do, um, fieldwork and experimentations."

"Oh," Todd said.

"Where was I?" Cassidy whispered to Butch.

"The Bragging About Boss part," Butch reminded her.

"Oh, of course," Cassidy said. "And he'll be pleased, and maybe he'll figure out someway of erecting a building here."

"Okay," Bonnie said. "So we can keep our hair?"

"Let's see how it works out," Butch said quickly, before another Hair Argument erupted.

"Okay," Bonnie said again. "I want my uniform now."

Cassidy sighed, feeling sweat on her forehead. She was sure she wasn't this difficult when she was around nine or ten.

**Number Three: Recruits usually have best taste when picking outfits.**

"Yuck."

"For once, you're right."

Bonnie and Todd stood outside the fitting room in the mall, wrinkling their noses. Bonnie's shirt hung to her knees, and her skirt to her calves, which ruined the whole boots effect. Of course, the boots were way too large, and made her look very disoriented.

As for Todd, he had to roll the pants up several times, which made his ankles look extremely bulky. His shirt was not only larger—after all, Team Rocket women liked to show off their belly rings—but also much fatter. More like a poncho than anything else. Needless to say, the boots simply could not fit, like Bonnie's.

"We've got a problem," Cassidy commented, when Bonnie and Todd began giggling and teasing outside. "They look hopelessly hideous."

"You should've thought of that when we recruited them," Butch said, ill-mannered. "You should've gotten shrunken it a few times in the wash."

"Which will cost money. But then again, I doubt _you_ ever do laundry."

Butch studied the two. "No, we can't. No amount of shrinking can shrink it _that_ much. We need to get new ones."

"Which means money," Cassidy said, rolling her eyes.

"Once the Boss sees this, maybe he'll wire us some," Butch suggested.

"Meanwhile, where _are_ the kids?"

For Bonnie and Todd had disappeared, Bonnie leaving the boots on the floor. Cassidy wrinkled her nose at the smell that only mothballs and must could provide. After all, Team Rocket uniforms tend to get outdated very soon, so the ones that were never used were just jammed in a closet.

Frowning, Butch and Cassidy disregarded the uniforms and began 'radar-ing' for the kids.

They weren't hard to spot, really. The two had a tendency to get into an argument about everything. A loud argument was taking place far away, and shoppers were turning around to find out who the commotion was coming from. Needless to say, the two Rockets could hardly miss the huge crowd that was forming.

Cassidy slapped her palm on her face. "I'm not dealing with this," she said. "I never liked babysitting. This is ridiculous."

"Me neither, especially when you can't sit on them," Butch agreed.

The two of them reluctantly began to approach the crowd, and were nearly blown back by the sheer volume of their voices.

"I THINK BLUE IS PRETTIER! YOU HAVE TO GET A BLUE SHIRT!"

"PRETTY IS FOR GIRLS! BLACK IS WAY BETTER!"

"NO IT ISN'T!"

"YES IT IS! YOU STUPID!"

"Goodness," a shopper remarked, turning to Cassidy. "These kids have absolutely no manners!"

"Trust us, we are doing this for charity," Butch said dryly, parting the crowd.

"You know, I do believe black is better," Cassidy said to the two kids, who began perusing through the other colors.

"On them? Nothing," Butch said, as they finally decided on navy.

The shoppers dispersed when the kids quieted down and began to raid the store. After five minutes, Bonnie ran into one dressing room with an armload of navy clothes and Todd ran into another with his own pile. Cassidy and Butch exchanged a look.

Another five minutes later, they came out. "How does this look?" they cried.

Cassidy, who was chewing some minty gum, looked and…choked, and Butch had to punch her in the stomach. "Awful," she spluttered, ogling at the clothes. "Absolutely _Awful_."

"Splendid," Butch said sarcastically.

They were both wearing dark jeans and navy sweatshirts with navy socks poking out from the pants bottoms. Butch had to admit that they looked like overly immature teen stars, but the combination did look very comfortable and fashionable.

"We're not going for fashion here," Cassidy said, reading his mind. "They have to suffer the same pains as us. I have to wear miniskirts in winter!"

Butch thought for a moment. "Agreed," he said, shrugging. "But you try telling them that."

"All right. Go get a miniskirt, Bonnie," Cassidy said. "And it has to be shorter than your knees. The shirt can stay. You can keep your navy theme if you want. By the way, get heeled boots."

"But skirts are annoying," Bonnie complained.

"Shorts, then," Cassidy conceded quickly, looking sick of the whole thing. "You too, Todd. You have to go get shorts or something. And you have to get something that isn't jeans. It doesn't look very good on you. Oh yeah, the boots go for you too. White ones preferably."

"Definitely no leather," Butch warned, feeling that he could not put up with preteen strippers.

"And nothing that's too bulky, or we can't steal them. We don't have credit cards or anything."

Bonnie frowned. "Hmm," she said. "I think he looks ugly in anything anyway, so you can just keep the old uniform for him."

"Ugly equals manliness," Todd informed her.

"Oh," Bonnie said, and frowned even more, as she began heading back into the girls' section of the store. "Well, then you should wear skirts. That way, you look ugly AND unmanly."

**Number Four: Thinking up a motto isn't always the easiest thing.**

"A motto!" Bonnie cried. "I love mottos. When my sisters do contests, they always make me say their mottos. Do you want to hear them?"

"No," Cassidy said.

Bonnie shrugged. "I wasn't going to tell you anyway," she said snidely. "You are too stupid to understand them."

Todd started giggling, and it took Cassidy much effort to keep her temper in check. It was finally Butch who managed to keep the ball rolling. "So," he said, looking at the two "smartly" dressed recruits in front of him, and trying not to go into hysterics. Cassidy wasn't not going to give her children an easy time, if she ever decided to have any. "Ahem. We need to do one final thing. You need a motto."

"You said that," Bonnie said.

"Okay, then give us your motto," Butch answered.

"How?"

"Here's a handbook," Cassidy said, taking out a thick book from her pocket. "It holds many rhymes that we use. After a while, we change our motto just to seem more professional. Butch and I just got a new one in honor of being here, but our old one is there."

"Give us yours," Todd said. "The new one, I mean."

Cassidy and Butch grinned at each other. "You ready, Cass?" Butch said.

"Ready."

Meanwhile, Bonnie and Todd had opened up the motto guidelines and began to peruse through the list of rhymes they must use.

"This time, my Drowsee gets to say his name at the end," Cassidy informed Butch.

"What? I thought we agreed that it's my Hitmontop's turn to say something."

Cassidy glared at him. "Fine, fine," she said. "Let's stick with my Raticate. Jessie and James always use that stupid Meowth."

"Until that blue thing began popping up occasionally," Butch said. "Are you kids listening?"

"Sure, sure," Bonnie said. "Go ahead, old man."

"To dance in the streets of the new nation," Cassidy began.

"To unite people in our demonstration," Butch went on.

"To sing and praise the meanings of love."

"To kick and disregard the flight of planes above."

"Cassidy!"

"Butch!"

"RATICATE!"

"EEEK!"

"Well, that wasn't part of it," Cassidy observed, when the Raticate began to pounce on Bonnie. "Still, it's quite amusing."

"Yeah," Butch said. "But you better return it. I think we can still be filed for child abuse."

Cassidy sighed. "Fine, fine," she said. "Return, Raticate. Well, you two. Have you guys decided?"

"Your motto really sucks," Bonnie said.

"Careful, or I'll set the rat on you," Cassidy said.

"But sing and praise love? Eww!" Bonnie said defiantly, although she took a few steps back.

Cassidy looked at Butch.

"You know, she's right, for once," Todd said slowly. "Love? Planes? Stupid!"

"Well, let's see you do better," Cassidy barked. "Go on."

Bonnie and Todd looked at each other. "Okay," Bonnie said, flipping her pigtails over her back. "Ahem."

_To graffiti the streets of this stupid nation,_

_To trample the people in our demonstration,_

_To stick our tongues at the sound of love,_

_To try and steal the bananas from the trees above,_

_Bonnie!_

_Todd!_

_…_

"Um, the Pokemon part," Butch said, and wished he didn't say that.

There were five bursts of light, and then together… "BULBASAUR! WINGULL! SKITTY! POOCHYENA! ZIGZAGOOON!"

"Atrocious," Cassidy groaned. "Honestly. Pick one of them."

It was her turn to wish that she didn't say something.

"Definitely my Bulbasaur!" Bonnie said, hugging her Pokemon to her chest. "It's the coolest!"

"Poochyena is!" Todd looked around. "Even…even Stripes!"

"Wingull!"

"No, Poochyena!"

"Zigzagoon! I have more Pokemon! I win!"

"Oh yeah? How about I challenge you to a battle? The last Pokemon that remains standing is our motto Pokemon!"

Bonnie grinned, as her Pokemon gathered at her side. "Oh yeah?" she said, sneering at poor mewing Stripes. "Let's get on with it!"

"Hey, maybe they'll kill each other," Cassidy said hopefully, as Bonnie chose Wingull as her first choice, while returning her Bulbasaur and Zigzagoon.

"Nah," Butch said, as Todd enlarged his empty Pokeball to return Stripes for later. "Not after all the money we've spent on them."

**A/N: **I poked a little at Team Rocket here, but it's playful and means no real offense. So ).

Who will win the battle? Who do you think? I'm rather curious. P

Please review! The battle will be extra exciting, with 3 on 2! And we'll get to see how Giovanni, Jessie, James, and Meowth take the news of Bonnie and Todd? Push the button, pretty please?

_-MR_


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